Bnei Yisroel were given specific instructions on who is eligible and who may serve as a soldier in the conquest of Eretz Yisroel.  Exemptions were given for those who were preparing for marriage (Shoftim, 20:7), had built a new house (20:5) or if they had recently planted a vineyard (20:6).  Moreover, even one who was afraid of war could not participate (20:8).  In fact, the Gemarah explains that only Tzadikim were left to fight and that is exactly what was intended.

How then does one understand the Torah’s significant discussion of the Yifas To’ar?  This woman, a gentile captured at war is permitted to marry the soldier who captured her, once the procedures, albeit extensive ones, are followed.  Rashi (21:11), citing the Gemarah in Kiddushin (21b),explains in rather blunt terms, that the procedures were prescribed by the Torah in recognition of the fact that soldiers at war would do terrible things.  Accordingly, the Torah enacted a permissible manner in which the soldier could take this woman to be his wife.  Is this the behavior of our Tzadikim?  They are so overcome by their baser instincts that the Torah concedes that they will yield to them? How are we to understand this abhorrent conduct from our best people?

Many years ago one of my Rebbeim explained to me how this must be understood.  The world is designed with an inherent moral code.  There are certain things, which are intrinsically understood, as right or wrong.  That is not to say that people would always do the right thing but they at least know what it is.  For example, most people understand that it is wrong to steal.  They may at times steal, either due to necessity, hatred or some other “reason”, but they understand it to be wrong. The most basic “wrong” that we understand is that it is wrong to kill.  Whether people do commit murder at times due to greed, passion, vengeance or some other motivation, they understand that killing is wrong.